Candle-power
Strike a match,
flares into flame.
Light the wick,
glows into life.
Illuminates our faces,
gleams in our eyes.
Gilded within
our magic circle.
But a spell with
a strict time limit.
Even Cinderella’s
expired at midnight.
Reduced to a stub,
gutters and dies.
A wisp of smoke
in a pool of wax.
A stunning poem – every word has a place although – magically – jars for me. You bring the moment to life and leave the reader devastated. If only we could hang on to those fleeting times.
Lovely poem – such sparseness, yet each small couplet delivers such a packed and clear image – this brevity itself mirrors the ‘brief candle’ theme. Magically enhanced is the one more abstract line where i don’t get given such a clear concrete image but the idea of an image – is there a way of making this line as sharp as the others. I love the last stanza/ pair of lines. Great energy all the way through.
“Both of us now/magically enhanced.” ARE weak lines – I’ve edited them (hopefully for the better!). Thanks for your help.
One is left with a lovely image of the power of the candle. As Di and Fiona say, super turn at the end.
Coming late to the ‘magical’ party I prefer the updated version.
Fresh and concise. A great take on the ‘brief candle’ image. I especially like couplets three and four. This must be the updated version – it works.