I see them do it every day –
skim the topmost branches
en route to somewhere else.
I rarely think of the fullness
of their bellies. Easy to ignore
their tireless pecking,
seeds and mice slipping down
unhindered gullets.
I do it too, skim
supermarket shelves, by-passing
easy-to-swallow soup
and all those drink supplements
he hated.
A very telling poem. I love the comparison between birds skimming the tree tops and the poet skimming the supermarket shelves. I can see the poet flitting past the items. Very moving. Says a lot in very few words.
Love it, but could I suggest, in the interests of meter, omitting ‘drink’ in the penultimate line? Or perhaps not.
Liquid?
powdered
isotonic
ignore me – I’m not a technical poet like Martin … he gives good advice – there are so many layers to this poem Robbie – think what I most enjoy is the banality (not meant in a dismissive way – the simple observations) and plain language you use to tell a very complicated story – so “drink” would do for me – it would depend what you would want to do with the poem – I also like the fact you have used “I” and it is in the present tense – it would have been all too easy to have put it in the past – thank you for sharing this – I think the images will stay with me for some time and I will be thinking of you when I visit the supermarket …
I like ‘liquid.’ I was going to say ‘it flows better…’ ooer!