Skulls and whale bones adorned the belt
that curled around his enormous waist.
His eyes flashed with the glint
of newly sharpened knives.
He strode along the beach hurling rocks.
Dogs and men scattered like disturbed woodlice.
A sea smoothed walnut tree was his staff.
He stirred the sea with it and the sea rose.
Windows on the seafront shattered.
The road became a dune.
The car park a depot for boulders,
ships timbers and lost shoes.
Benches were dead men.
He sang and the town lurched.
Even the colourful houses reeled
and bowed under his ear splitting tune.
People shivered as darkness fell.
All they could do was to pray for him to leave.
Love the images in this poem. Stanzas 3 & 4 are especially strong.
Stanzas 1 & 2 could perhaps be trimmed. For example, ‘he stirred the sea with a walnut tree and the sea rose.’ might be stronger for being starker. D’you think ‘hung from’ might be more sinister than ‘adorned’ and maybe ‘enormous’ is redundant?
I really like this poem so it’s hard to step back and make merely tentative suggestions so I’m afraid I’ve plunged in there with both feet!
yes – I can picture it all – making us as big as woodlice and making the houses bow is a great way of showing the magnitude of the event