Habit

Every time a charity bag
is posted through my letterbox
I think ‘this time I’ll let it go’

But then I stroke its fine velour,
admire the red silk lining
of its jacket

take it out to dust it down,
put it back and close
the wardrobe doors again.

I cannot bear to let it go
even though it’s a long, long time
since I sat sideways on a horse,

even though I was
a different, smaller, size
back then.

Gill McEvoy