Losing heart
When the conductor
slackens his grip
the orchestra
runs amok,
strings out of synch
with woodwinds,
brass bellowing
at random.
Missing the beat,
desperately trying
to keep in step
with wild variations
in tempo and volume,
I’m left breathless.
Is it Quickstep, Rumba,
Jive or Break Dance?
New conductor installed:
settle back into
American Smooth.
The short lines really match the whirl of the dances – then the slowing down of the third stanza, super! Perhaps ‘desperately’ isn’t needed as we get that from missing, trying, wild, breathless. I’m not sure the title does it justice?
Thanks, Robbie. I chose the title to point towards the meaning of the poem – it’s about a heart condition known as atrial flutter, where the electrical impulses in the heart become misaligned causing variable heart beats leading to breathlessness. You would probably need to have suffered from the ailment to read between the lines!
Ah. That passed me by. I think I’d be inclined to title it ‘Atrial Flutter’ which has a lovely ring to it and would make the metaphor even stronger.
I’m just back from holiday – I realize my intended sub-text is obscure in the extreme and while I’ve been away I had the same sort of idea as you for changing the title – I’m going to call it “Doing the Atrial Flutter”. Thanks for your help.