this a bit of a cheat. It was written in November but 2009, in response to an exercise at Ty Newydd, where we had to write a poem about something inanimate and mechanical. This was in reference to a petite (but deadly) industrial dish washer in their otherwise very organic and genteel kitchen.
Maidaid Halcyon C 500
Sleek, grey, small
discreet, with its shh and no fuss,
on the signal performs
a tarantella so intense
it must be contained
in steel; the heat and pressure
such, that when the box is opened
steam escapes like a trapped beast
fleeing the scene, leaving
glass, china, steel – prepared
for fresh butchery.
Revision from Robbie’s feedback. I’ve retained Halcyon in the title and alluded to the image of the mythical bird for the last line. I’m hoping that it also releases the poem up from the original idea. Do you think it works?
Maidaid Halcyon
Sleek, grey, small
discreet, with its shh and no fuss,
on the signal performs
a tarantella so intense
it must be contained
in steel; the heat and pressure
such, that when the box is opened
steam escapes like a trapped beast
fleeing the scene, leaving
glass, china, steel
a shimmer.
Such energy in just eleven lines – another candidate for the Magma competition! (see links). Perhaps the title could be a little off-putting – just Halcyon C500 could do it. The ‘shh and no fuss’ is delightful, as is ‘it must be contained / in steel’. I wonder if ‘fresh butchery’ comes as too much of a shock after the dance and the sounds and the likeability of the dishwasher. And, of course, the ‘Halcyon’. I really like the poem’s tightness, Dee, reflecting its controlled energy.
Thanks Robbie that’s really encouraging.