Revelation

Revelation

Nothing to be seen
but morning mist,
disembodied bell
tolling somewhere.

Then chug of engines,
wash of bow wave.
The ferry materialises,
gliding across the lake.
Engines into reverse,
churning, edging
towards the jetty.

We walk the gangplank,
lean together on the rail.
Cast off, under way,
the shoreline evaporates.
Absorbed into mist,
both of us lost in thought.

Suddenly, a shaft of sunlight.
Mist clears to reveal
the mountain with, high above,
a gleam of snow upon its peak.

6 thoughts on “Revelation

  1. Robbie Burton

    I like this very much, Jonathan. Maybe it could trimmed here and there? ‘Disembodied’ is implicit and therefore unnecessary, similarly ‘Cast off’ in penultimate stanza. And since ‘a shaft of sunlight’ opens the final stanza we know the mist has cleared so its second line could be omitted?

    The last line is lovely.

  2. Sarah Dolan

    sorry – what do you mean by disembodied bell? the idea that it is separate?

    gosh after reading The Man I was left feeling very down/negative so I grabbed on to your phrase – walking the gangplank – and thought I it was a sign of something dreadful to come (especially after the disemboweling – I mean disembodying) – guess I was looking too hard for clues which are not meant to be clues at all – I blame The Man

    1. Jonathan Mayman Post author

      I always like to test your powers of imagination, Sarah. You may yet inspire me to change it to a bolt of lightning that sends the boat to the bottom! I await your next poem…

  3. Fiona Lesley

    This is really lovely. I like the title and the fact that it is then a literal shedding of light in nature although the tantalising reference to the two figures leaning into one another allows for a human relationship to it. Brilliant. I wondered about with the disembodied/disembowelled bell issue (!) you could explore something a little more expansive in the description of that sound. The short sentences are great as it means its packed with images but i wanted somehow for it to travel more slowly at times… Very lovely poem.

    1. Jonathan Mayman Post author

      Thanks, Fiona – most encouraging. THAT word does seem to cause a problem! I wanted to evoke the sound of a bell coming through the mist, emphasizing that you can’t see where it’s coming from. “Disembodied” in my dictionary means “lacking a body” or “seeming not to be attached to or come from anyone”. Also, to me, the sound of the word has an eerie quality and mimics the tolling of a bell.

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