where once a bison paused
pursued by warriors
wielding flint-headed weapons
now the hand of man hovers
in pink Marigolds
armed with microfibre squares
of non-toxic pine-scented detergent
where once a bison paused
pursued by warriors
wielding flint-headed weapons
now the hand of man hovers
in pink Marigolds
armed with microfibre squares
of non-toxic pine-scented detergent
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‘paused /pursued ‘ and I couldn’t help thinking ‘pissed’. Clever.
wow !!!
thanks for the comments – this was not the original title of this poem so thanks for the prompt Robbie as it has made me look at my poems and ask “is the title working/necessary/adding anything/taking away/distracting …?” I found this statement written on the wall of a toilet in Salford University and it became the prompt for a poem and I think it works okay as the title too.
Excellent! I like Chris’s comment about paused/pursued… I wouldn’t have thought of that but read out loud – yes!
I should also have said, every line works perfectly. Not an extraneous word anywhere… fab.