You can see us all in the photograph
the stripy busy bee still talking
the red-laced late and ready to get away early
the one who always looks away but sees everything
the carrying something for somebody else and making it look difficult
the eager to be in the middle with both elbows
the head on one side happy to hover just in case
not forgetting the one behind the camera
out of shot?
two strangers
seated
side by side
writing their own story
in silence
Oh yes…. brilliant.
Perhaps the question mark in line 1 Stanza 2 isn’t necessary?
The change of format between the two stanzas is fab.
Great! I agree with Robbie and I would capitalise Out
thanks – this is based on us at Erddig on Saturday – the image I have in my head is of two strangers under the pink umbrella scribbling away – one woman I spoke to was thrilled that her son was churning out words and he had only been at school for 3 weeks – think the pink umbrella side stage worked really well
Lovely lines in this – ‘head on one side happy to hover’ I liked . Who needs a camera when you can write it down like this!