The wind has blown my mind clean empty.
At first, it wasn’t like a warrior striding into town
toppling all in his path.
It was a mere whistle through an old crack,
a draught of cold air on the back of my neck.
Then it became a chorus ascending,
a banshee tearing up wires and paths,
family routines and traditions,
cleaning out all the debris and darkness.
Stay cleansing winds and bring bright new days.
Tornadoes swirl, like dancing girls
suck all the clutter away.
Hurricanes and Typhoons hold your World Cup here.
Super title, lovely movement too in Stanza 1 & 2.
I misread the meaning of ‘stay’ in the first line of St.3. I was reading it as ‘stop’ which gave the line a pre-20th century feel. But now I’m reading it as ‘remain’ which is something entirely different!
Do you really need the final line which changes the tone of a thoughtful poem to a jokey one? ‘Suck all the clutter away’ would be a great end line.
Thanks for the comments. ‘ Stay ‘ is – remain – here. I liked the word because it sounds right in that line: stay/day. Didn’t consider other meanings. So thanks for pointing that out. (poem in drawer time).
Yes, the last line must go.
whatever happens don’t lose the sense of lack of control – that is what makes it work for me and makes it real
Thanks Sarah I will try to hang on and not go too far with the de-cluttering.